Still Trying to Figure It out

Now I know why mom's are always terrified of the autism diagnosis at first. We don't want our kids to be labeled and/or judged. Here is a letter i wrote to Brentley:

Dear _______________,

I have decided to enroll Avery in Brentley and I want to explain why. First let me tell you that A.J. loves school and she loves learning. I have worked very hard as a stay at home mom, to ensure that she is always in a loving and nurturing environment. She is in an environment right now where she is adored by her classmates and her teachers. As she is moving into kindergarten next year I needed to make sure that she will once again be in a wonderful nurturing, learning environment.

Bob, when we first spoke and you took me around the classrooms I listened quietly and carefully to everything you had to say. I was impressed when you told me that you don’t label your kids…and that some of them have learning disabilities and that these same children have gifts…and that the individualized approach to learning helped them reach their potential.

A.J. has to work hard on her fine and gross motor skills. She is guarded about expressing herself until she is completely comfortable in a situation. But academically she is advanced and has a photographic memory. She has an above average IQ and socially she is very sweet, quietly thoughtful, intuitive and well liked. I want to make sure that she is not judged in any way, because she is coming in from an ESE program. In her ESE program were impressed by Ms. Scott and how she was able to connect with the children and install an excitement and respect for learning. It has been a great experience for A.J..

Now I want A.J. to start fresh, without the stigma of a label. Any classes or therapy she does is done in the private sector. In school, I want her to feel like she fits in and can and will do what her friends do. She is physically and mentally able to be just another little girl in kindergarten. This is what I want for her. We don’t need IEP’s, we need a great school, teachers who are passionate about their craft and a place where as a mom I can be active and volunteer and be a part of her school experience. We need to be comfortable that Avery is completely embraced, welcomed and appreciated.

I think that not only does A.J. have the ability to learn, she has the ability to teach. She has a remarkable aura to her that is calming and happy. I feel like she will bring a lot to the table. A good school and wonderful teachers will quickly understand what an asset she is and what a positive presence she brings to a learning environment.

Thank you,



So that is the letter. I don't know yet if I am going to send her there. Today when I visited the school again, Bob got all prickly and cold when he started saying that they have turned away other children who have needed a more clinical environment. I wanted to wring his neck, as if he were suggesting that A.J. may need to be put in a cold grey concrete room with a straight jacket. I can't stand that attitude.
If we send her there it is because it has a good reputation for teaching, because it won't matter if we move...she won't have to switch schools because of zoning, and because we could never afford to send her there if she couldn't get a scholarship for having a disability. Maybe if she goes there for 5 years, she will be completely "integrated" and shed the diagnoses???? Ahhh, dreams. Hopefully I won't have to spend much time with the director as I am disgusted with his attitude over ese kids. Am I setting myself up for a fall?
me.