When I look at my profile facebook page it looks like I have this super-interesting, fun life with tons of amazing friends. It is kind of a reminder of how lucky I am. But what is funny is that the truth lying beneath it is not so rosy. Like, I wrote how we went to Miami yesterday to get passports for the kids since we are going to England next week to attend my Grandmother's memorial service. Anyway, this all looks very interesting, but I don't mention of course how the drive was really scary for me because of my anxiety disorder (and I was the passenger not the driver.) I feel like many of my posts have underlying things in there that I don't mention and I wonder if this is the same for other people. When I look at my high school friend's profile pages, sometimes it looks like everyone has this amazing life, but I have to remember that the profile pages are what people choose for their books "cover."
My friends all do Facebook and when we get together we take lots of pictures and post them all. It is like a big advertizement for how cool we are or something when the opposite is true. We are are struggling and have problems, some of us serious problems, amongst of course, joy also and a strong bond of friendship. But the photos show us all smiling and hanging out and having a great time with the girls. They don't show that we talked about autism or my friend's daughter who is regressing because of her seisures. All people see when they look at my page is the smiles, the friends, the summary of each story that has so much more to it than what is posted.
I feel like I have been posting a lot of deaths recently. My cat/1st baby died two weeks ago and everyone comforted me with their 2 sentence words of sympathy. Then my Grandma died and I posted something about that and got more sympathy. It is just knid of weird really. So why do I post? I don't know. I suppose I want my friend's to know this stuff. It is like letting everyone know without having to email them and if my friend's want to know what is gong on it is very easy for them to check in on my profile page. The very weird part though is the people who I am "friends" with who I am really just aquaintences with. I wonder if they get tired of my "feeds" about my life. I guess they can easily not see my feeds anymore. I wonder how many people have done that.
me.
