#3 on the way

So I am 6 weeks pregnant. We used a condom with spermacide, but I guess you have to use it right from the beginning because we are living proof that if you wait a little first, you're gonna get pregnant! I've been a little stunned. The first two were not planned but they were in the plans and it was actually perfect timing. But we were done and I had my head wrapped around that. We were ready for the vacations to begin, maybe camping soon. We were ready for both kids to be in school so I could work during the day more and we could make some more money. But here I am with number 3 growing rapidly in there as I type. Of course I am happy. It is like nature makes you happy. What else are you going to be? Of course I am worried about autism and I am doing things differently this time. I am not going to eat a ton of chocolate for one...no tuna fish at all. I am eating organic healthy food but I will allow the occasional pizza binge. Today, to get myself excited or to drive home the reality, I bought two glass baby bottles online and a stainless steel sippy cup. And I think that I am somehow going to try and not have an epidural. I don't know. I won't commit to that because I got to 9 cm with Owen before I got the epidural and I can still feel the pain. But I think I am going to try.

Also a couple of weeks before my due date and after the baby is born I am not going to eat or consume anything with casein in it as I have read lots of articles that say it helps to calm colic, to cut out dairy. After having one child with autism and the other with first, dysphasia as an infant and asthma now. I am going to do my best to keep the environmental toxins as far away as I can. I also will not be doing any shots until this one is 4 years old. I hope it helps keep my new little one protected. It is so strange because you get the shots to protect your children, and it is so weird that I will not be getting the shots...to protect my children. I have learned that doctors don't know anything and the people who taught the doctors, don't know anything. What else is a doctor going to do though than tell you confidently that what they have learned is fact. How can you be a skeptical doctor? Well, I guess it is possible, in fact we have one for AJ.

So I am early on in the pregnancy but I am giving my little clump of multiplying cells lots of good energy and thoughts and early love. I have been lucky enough that my anxiety has not been popping up and I hope it stays that way. I am wondering if it going to be a boy or girl. AJ wants a sister and Owen wants a brother. I don't care, either way it will be amazing. I hope things work out. I hope I hope and I hope and I don't worry because worry doesn't help. But I am terrified in the most calm way possible. Hm,
me.