It is 6:30am and I have been up since 4. AJ came in our room and got in bed with us then didn't get back to sleep for two hours. Now she is fast asleep. Not me. DH got up and went to sleep in her bed so we would have room and because she wiggles for hours so no one sleeps. Tomorrow, well, this morning I am going to talk to him about what we can do to get her back in her bed since when the baby comes I can't be up all night with both of them. At least O has been sleeping through the night these past few days. AJ seems to wake up in wee hours of the morning when we give her melatonin.

Today I am going to call her pediatrician and tell her about what I wrote in my previous blog. We shall see what she says.

So I am 24 weeks preg now. The baby is doing summersaults constantly. I love that feeling! I got one ultrasound at 10 weeks and he/she looked great. Then they scheduled me for a 3D ultrasound at 20 weeks and I remembered something weird that my sister told me about her 20 week ultrasound. She said it was funny because it looked like the baby was running away from the scanner thingy the whole time. I thought that was kind of weird. So I looked up ultra sounds and autism and just like everything else, there is someone who says there is a connection. So I looked some more to try and have my research be even and not just take the word of a youtuber. I found a study by Yale done in 1996 that shows that ultrasounds cause displaced brain cell placement in mice. They went on to say why this applied to human babies too. You can find the article on the Autism Speaks website if you search under ultrasound.

So I thought to myself, well, no biggie, since I already had an ultrasound and things looked good, I just wont' get the 20 week one so I won't have to worry or think about it anymore. Then I went in for my check up and when I told my midwife, Jane, that I cancelled my ultrasound and that I decided not to have one, she kind of freaked out. She said that the doctors who own the practice would not be OK with that. She said that for liability reasons I had to get the ultrasound done or they wouldn't see me anymore.
I left feeling kind of shocked. I thought that I should just get the scan and forget about it. But at the same time I was annoyed that they were choosing liability issues over the individual care of the patient. I totally understand why they would, but I didn't really want to be a part of it.

So...I went to the birth center in town and spoke with the midwives there. I loved it there and it is only minutes from my house. But they don't offer the option of an epidural which is a bit scary but I thought would be the right option for me. I decided to go to the birth center. Then that night, I woke up in a panick, remembering when I got an epidural with O and telling myself that if I was dumb enough to have a third, to not try and do it without an epidural. I remember burning that into my brain, that I never wanted to feel that strength of a 9cm contraction ever again in my whole life.

I talked to DH about it and he said he didn't want me at the birth center. He said he wanted me and the baby at a hospital so if anything went wrong we would have immediate care. So now that left me in this weird position of do I just get the scan and stay at Northside Hospital? Or do I suck it up and go to the birth center?

My friend suggested that I go and talk to the doctor in charge at Northside. So I made the appt and DH and I went in to see her. She said that she agreed with me, that all of my reasons and arguments and points were valid and true. BUT she still couldn't risk the liability because in the rare chance that there was something wrong with the baby, I could sue her and say that she didn't councel me properly on why I needed it done.

for 3 weeks , between 21 and 24 weeks preg I had no baby care practice to go to. That was kind of stressful to be that far along and out in limbo. Then a friend told me about another place. This other place is the one that I chose. I will blog about that tomorrow :)
me.