So my new OBGYN...here goes:
After finding out that I needed to get a scan by Nov 21st to remain at my current OBGYN's practice, I wasn't sure what to do. I eventually, one morning decided that I would just get the ultrasound and this way I could make sure that the baby was Ok and what sex it was too so we could prepare more easily and be able to get the kids excited about it. AJ is sure we are having a girl so it would be nice to be able to give her a solid answer she could get used to. I told DH this when I woke up in the mornign and he said he thought I was making the right decision and he was glad I was going to be able to stay with the midwives that I liked and not have to worry about this anymore.
But when I picked up the phone to make the phone call I couldn't do it. I sat there with the phone in my hand and thought about how I was being pressured into care that was not right for me because they were worried about liability, not because they thought I was wrong about not having the scan. It seemed to me that if they couldn't adjust their care plan for me, that I needed to go somewhere that could. I thought about the articles and the studies I had read. I couldn't get it out of my head that the book, "The Out Of Synch Child" was on the same shelf as "What to Expect When You Are Expecting" at Books a Million. And I couldn't get out of my head that email I got from babycenter.com saying that at 20 weeks is when the "sensory organs are all developing." I also couldn't get out of my head that I knew back when AJ was a baby that there was a question about getting her those flu shots with thimerasol in them. But I let the doctor talk me into thinking I was doing the right thing, and then I watched my baby regress so much so quickly that it was really scary.
So while holding the phone I called my younger sister instead of Northside. She said that either way she knew I would make the right decision. Hm... that didn't help. So I called my dad at his work and told him the story from beginning to end, and he advised me to go to the birth center.
There was one more place I could call. My friend, Suzanne had told me about it. She had birthed her first child there. But it was different now. When she was there there were 3 midwives and now there was only one. The hospital they were affiliated with was closing in a year, so it seemed like they were phasing things out. They used to have a place where a person could deliver at their practice rather than the hospital, but they don't do that anymore. I had tried calling them a week ago and left a message for the midwife to call me but she never called me back. So I decided to try again, just so I would know all of my options before making the final decision. I called and asked where they were located and then drove me and O there (since this was after his preschool got out)
When I got to the practice I was not impressed. It was in a grimy small strip mall next to a convenient store with bars on the window. It had a small old sign out front and I thought about just leaving but then decided to at least check it out so I would know all of my options before making a decision. O and I went inside and it was a bit grimy in the waiting room. I asked if I could speak to the midwife if she wasn't too busy and they brought me back to a type of conference room with a clock on the wall that was stopped, empty shelves, and old large desk and a musty smell in the air. When Lilly the midwife came in I told her about what was going on at Northside Hospital and she said that she thought I should just get the ultrasound. When I started to go into why I didn't want one she cut me off and said that she didn't care if I had the ultrasound or not, that she and the dr there would not require me to get it and that it wasn't an issue. She said that if I wanted her to care for me that it would be a pleasure to see someone who had planned to have the baby, who wanted to have the baby and who was interested in natural birth. I got the impression she was used to dealing with a whole different set of moms to be than who were going to Northside Midwives. She was really nice but I wasn't feeling like I wanted to be at a practice where the mom's weren't excited about having their babies and where it was not clean and warm and well, inviting at all.
So when I was walking out I asked about the hospital she was affiliated with. General Hospital was across the street from them and also quite close to my house. She said that if I wanted to have a look at the labor and delivery floor that someone would probably show me around.
So my next and final stop was labor and delivery at General Hospital. O and I went to the elevators that took so long to open that I almost left. I kept thinking that if I was in labor this would not be cool right now. But O loves elevators and he would have had a fit if we almost got to ride on one but then left. So we stuck it out and eventually made it to the 3rd floor. When the doors opened I couldn't believe how cute the lobby was. We walked out into a beautiful, clean, cute and inviting room. Then I looked through the door there and saw the nurse desk and hallways of labor and delivery. I looked for a way to be buzzed in and didn't see one, so I tried the door and was pretty much stunned that it opened and that it wasn't kept locked and under tight security like at Northside and where I had birthed O and AJ. I didn't like that at all. But when I walked in there the nurses looked up and smiled and when I looked around it was so sweet and warm and clean with cute pictures on the wall. The hallways were carpeted and not concrete. It just looked like a really really nice place to have a baby. It looked nicer, cleaner and more inviting than Northside.
One of the nurses showed me around and we went and looked at an open delivery room. It was in pristine condition and she picked up a wireless monitor and said that each room had one so I could walk around and move while I was laboring and not be confined to a bed.
So I decided that it would be nice to have the baby here because it was close to my house, so I could do most of the laboring at home, and because I wouldn't have to get an ultrasound...but I would be in a hospital if anything went wrong and they had a nic unit there also. I would be able to keep the baby in my room too. The only problem is that I would have to have round the clock family keeping an eye on my baby since I would be paranoid about the lack of security...not because it is in a bad area or anything, just because when I am a new mom I am intense about keeping the baby in family's hands and sight at all times. I guess I have a mistrust of society that kicks in hardcore for those first couple of days after my little one is born. It is kind of a shame really. It would be so much easier to be trusting and be able to sleep and send the baby to the nursery and such with no worries. But its not going to happen. It was going to be weird to have my prenatal care at a place that I wasn't too excited about, but I figured if the midwife is good (they raved about her at the hospital) that it would be OK.
So there is my long post about my experience with trying to find a place to have the baby. I am 25 weeks preg tomorrow. The little one is dong flips in my belly quite often. Exciting stuff...I'm so glad I made a decision and that I don't have to think about this anymore.
Let me end by saying that the main midwife at Northside told me that regarding my concern with the scans, that I was "probably way ahead of everyone on this one." If she is right, then perhaps this was all worth it.
me.
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