this sucks

I'm kind of freaking out right now. DH told me that he bought a midi keyboard for his band. This is at a time when we have no money and I have been busting my butt to get wedding video bookings and editing whenever I get a second between taking care of the 3 kids. The keyboard was $250. I feel like he is pissing away my hard work...on his band. He said he bought it because I got a booking and 2 more inquiries. I have been so stressed lately with trying to keep the business going so we can pay our mortgage, so stressed that it made me sick with this shingles..which you only get when your immune system is compromised and/or if you are suffering from severe stress.

If I spend too much money it is because I went to Gymboree and went a bit nuts on the sale rack or something. It is always for the kids or our family. I am so disappointed that his splurge is for the band while our family is suffering severe money issues. There is so much we could do with $250 right now for the business. This recession is kicking my ass.

His band is really good. They are getting ready to release a new album and go on tour. He loves it and I try hard to support him. But tonight...I hate it. Tomorrow I will gather myself up again and look on the bright side again. Now, I think I will make myself a cup of decaf tea to try and get rid of this migraine, and maybe find something mindless on TV.

me.