a couple of things

OK this Shingles stuff is a bit more uncomfortable now. It isn't so uncomfortable that it makes me panicky, and it isn't worse than a headache or stomach ache, in fact it is still better than either of those. But my skin is starting to hurt and my neck is sore too. The weird thing is that it looks like the rash is starting to clear up. This evening I told DH that I think I am getting sick because my neck aches an my skin hurts. He said "You are sick. You have shingles."

"Oh yea."

But my skin hurts all over, not just near the rash, which is what happens when I am getting sick.

Tonight something wonderful happened. I lay down with AJ for a while as she was going to sleep and we chatted a bit. She will chat with me to keep me there since she likes having company when she is fighting going to sleep. So I get to chat. When we were done I told her thank you for talking to me and that I love talking with her. She said, "Mom, you make my heart super happy."

I just about cried right then and there. She is such a beautiful child. I just want to keep her safe and happy every second of her life. I think it is good enough now though that we love each other and hang out a whole bunch.

me.

shingles and nursing

It is day 4 of this shingles business. My rash is looking pretty awful but I don't have open wounds. In fact I wonder if it is clearing up without getting revolting. I hope so. I don't know if that is possible though. The Tegaderm plastic cover things are working really well. Emmy is nursing on that side now (no more pumping except to get milk for AJ and Owen) and when Emmy nurses it actually stops the itch, which is really nice. The main bad thing is that if I forget and scratch it, it feels like someone is holding a match to my skin. So I have only forgotten twice. My right eye feels kind of funny. I hope that nothing weird goes wrong with that. It is itchy and kind of sore.

I'm writing this down because I didn't see any day by day accounts when I looked up shingles on the internet, so I wanted to document it a little bit incase anyone else had a mild case of it like me and wanted to see what it is like each day. The very best thing I am doing is resting. DH is coming home for lunch so I can sleep and that makes me feel so much better.

So since Owen hasn't had any dairy, his stuttering has stopped. One of my friends told me that there must be a major genetic allergy to dairy in my family. I told her I think it is totally weird that the allergy is neurological. The she said, "Hasn't your anxiety been much better?" She is right. It has. I am happier now than I have been in many many years. Maybe that is because I have my third baby and we have our own house. But I don't know. Maybe it is because my brain doesn't do well with dairy also? Hm, that seems like a stretch and I miss my pizza for sure.

OK, goodnight for now.

me.

shingles, autism, recession

I'm on day 3 of this shingles rash and I think I must be one of the lucky few that isn't that bothered by it. It is itchy but if I just leave it alone it is OK. If I forget and touch it, then it hurts. But I am being super careful to just ignore the itch. I don't have pain on the nerve where the rash runs so I guess I am very lucky not to have that. I am just really really really tired. I also have swollen glands and a sore throat but not too badly or anything.

So I have been using the plastic stuff, Tagederm, over the rash which helps because I can see where it is. I have started nursing Emmy on that side again since her mouth doesn't go near the rash, where as the pump piece got a bit too close to it and aggravated it a bit.

I have been pumping and giving the milk to AJ and Owen, disguised with chocolate rice milk so they are not totally grossed out. I am hoping the antibodies will help Owen not get it and might help Avery's autism?? Who knows. I was also thinking that I stopped nursing AJ around 14 or 16 months and if autism has anything to do with immune defficiency that breast milk can only help with that. I know she is 6 but its not like I'm putting her on my boob or anything. She doesn't even know she is getting it (she would be grossed out if I told her.) Both AJ and Owen are doing well today. Owen's stuttering seems to be much better too since I stopped giving him dairy a week or so ago. DH noticed that too. Of course, it could be a coincidence, but I don't think so.

So DH is at a meeting but is going to come home from work early so that I can sleep. He came home for a long lunch and I slept for an hour and a half. I might go lie down right now while the kids are watch a movie and Emmy is asleep.

Oh, I finally got a wedding video booking, which means we now have August and September's mortgage covered (if everyone sends their checks in). Maybe that is why I got shingles. I was so stressed about paying the mortgage because we weren't getting any bookings that it made me sick? I don't know.

me.

Oh Crap I've Got Shingles (I thought you had to be old)

So last night I was getting these weird hot flashes and I was having a bizarre waking dream that I was in the show, Merlin. (I love that show). I didn't realize I was sick, I just thought I was hot because Camelot was hot. But then I got up and turned the AC down, get this...so the kids wouldn't be too hot in Camelot (I was out of it). About a half hour later I felt fine, but not sleepy. At that point (about 1am by now) I felt something itchy on my breast and it felt like a bug bite or something but then I realized it was bigger than a bug bite. I got out of bed and went into the bathroom to check it out in the mirror. I was dismayed to see I had an awful rash on there...itchy red bumps. So for the rest of the nights feeding with Emmy I made sure the rash was covered with my T-shirt so her lips didn't touch the affected area.

This morning I felt fine but the rash looked so soft and lumpy and disturbing that I called my dermatologist and made an appointment for tomorrow morning at 8am. Then this afternoon I noticed that the rash had spread in a line all around my breast and I got very nervous about nursing Emmy so I called back my dermatolgist and begged them to see me today. They said they weren't a walk in clinic but when I told them I was worried about my 4 month old nursing near the rash, they fit me in this afternoon.

So when the doctor came in and I showed her the rash she backed away and hurried out of the room saying she was going to get another doctor. I thought that was kind of nerve wracking. Then she stuck her head in the room and said the other doctor was coming. She said that she was pregnant and if I had what she thought I had, that was very contageous and horrible for a pregnant woman. Then she left again and my heart was pounding out of my chest.

The next doctor came in and looked at it and said it was shingles.

I said, 'I thought only old people get shingles."

She said, "Anyone who had chicken pox as a child can get it. Doe it hurt?"

"no."

"You are very lucky that it doesn't hurt because it can be very painful."

"No it just itches a bit."

She prescribed me Valtrex and said it would be fine for nursing. I asked if Emmy could get the virus from my breast milk and get chicken pox. She said she would call my pediatrician and find out for sure. A half hour later they told me that the milk was not affected and this is what I needed to do:

1. bandage the blisters well

2. put plastic stuff over the bandages (Tegaderm)

3. pump on the affected breast making sure that no part of the rash touches the plastic of the pump. Pump while she is nursing on the other side.

4. feed her the milk that I pumped.

Now I am home and showered and bandaged up. My boob is wrapped in enough plastic to pack it in a box and ship it off somewhere. I did pump and Emmy finally took a bottle after I tried 2 different kinds. She likes the Born Free bottles and nipples and would only take it sitting on my lap and facing away from me, go figure.

I'm really tired and about to go to bed now. I decided not to take the Valtrex since I am nursing. I gave some of the breast milk that Emmy didn't drink and mixed it with AJ's favorite, chocolate rice milk and gave her a cup. I think that if autism has anything to do with viruses from shots still living in her system, maybe my antibodies fighting the shingles will help her. I'm going to give Owen some too although he isn't vaccinated for chicken pox and I might take him to get vaccinated tomorrow.

They also took a mole off to send away for a biopsy.

I'm off to bed now. I hope it isn't a bad idea not to take the Valtrex.

me.