Today A.J. was very alert and pretty much amazing. She played with her new dolls, changing their plastic snap-on clothes, and talking away and having a great time. She did really well in speech this afternoon and added on her own comments and spontaneous sentences during turn-taking games that Diane played with her.
At dinner she looked right at "O" and said, "What is your favorite planet O?"
He said, "Jupiter. What is your favorite planet A.J.?)
She said, "Saturn!"
That was the first time she has ever looked right at him and spontaneously asked him a question that wasn't simply to get something she wanted. She and Diane worked on asking questions today in speech. Diane has opened up so many doors for A.J. We are paying for her house visits out of pocket. We did get funding for speech finally, from CMS, but it only covers SLP's that are with the University Speech Center. We couldn't stop having Diane come to the house, because of how far she has brought A.J.. So we cut back to once a week and go to the University SLP once a week. It is pretty interesting because Diane works on sentences and giving A.J. tools to make conversation. At the University speech center, they work hard on eye contact and approaching people. They do this with dolls. A.J. doesn't have the dolls look at each other, but in her therapy they work on having her dolls look at each other. This teaches her the concept and idea of it without her having to look into anyone's eyes which is very hard for her I think. Sometimes when I talk to her she puts her hand up to shield my eyes so she doesn't have to look at them while I am talking to her. I think I need to teach her to look at people's ears or hair. I will talk to her SLP about that.
Of course I wonder if it because I stopped giving her almond butter that she is doing so well. Perhaps she is allergic to nuts and that was clouding her a bit last week? Or maybe it is the flax seed oil I am putting in her juice over the past 3 days? Who knows. I don't know. D.H. told me today when I said that I didn't want "O" to drink milk until his night cough stops...in case it is allergies, that I don't know what I am talking about. I said, "You are right. I have no idea what I am talking about. But I'm trying."
He agreed.
When A.J. has days like today I feel like she is going to be OK, that she is going to be able to live on her own and have relationships and maybe even a family. I think that she is moving forwards and she has a chance at independent happiness. I think that when she is a teenager, maybe she will be like Heather on "Next Top Model."
When I watched Heather on that show I was like, "Oh my God, she is just like A.J." Heather talked to the camera about how she had Asperger's...but I could tell that she didn't have Aspergers. She didn't rattle off constant sentences and information or blatantly miss social cues which are traits of Aspergers. Instead, she seemed like she was pretty much able to read social cues. Her specific difficulty was that she couldn't give cues, or express her emotions in her face or actions, which resulted in her being misunderstood by the other girls. For example one of the girls said she was tired of Heather not trying. Heather's lack of facial expression and her distracted, aloof demeanor caused her to appear like she didn't care about stuff, and that she "wasn't trying." When she truly was trying so hard.
"Close the door Heather" One girl called to Heather as she was the last of them all walking out of the apartment building...and had absent mindedly left the door wide open. Heather hurried back to close the door behind them.
I so saw much of A.J. in her. She was distracted, like A.J. She forgot to close doors, she got lost, she was obviously socially awkward in a way that didn't make people feel sorry for her, and more like...what's her problem?
Heather had Autism, just like A.J. And Heather was a smart, beautiful amazing person and I hoped it was, perhaps, like looking at A.J. in the future, except there is no way A.J. will be that tall!
At some points during the show, Heather was made fun of, and teased by some of the girls because she was such a target. I just wanted to jump in the TV set and wring that mean girl's neck. There was one point in the show when all the girls went to China and went to their new hotel and everyone went to grab a bed. Heather was last to go and get a bed. There were all single beds and one double bed. The mean girl had the double bed and said she wasn't sharing...leaving Heather without a bed. It was just rude and she was playing on her social disability. Heather started to cry and the mean girl thought it was funny. It was like a power game and all I could see was how pathetic this girl was to try and feel powerful from preying on someone who needed help. It was pretty disgusting.
So watching this made me also feel like I was watching how A.J could be bullied as a teenager, or older. I don't know how I can protect her for her whole life. I feel like I will take it year by year, month by month...day by day. I grew up fiercely protecting my younger sister. She can fend for herself now. Now I will have to fiercely protect A.J. but I have a feeling it will be harder.
me.
p.s. I just read this to DH and he said he gave A.J.almond butter this morning at breakfast.
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