It has been a week, and what an amazing week.  Somehow, so far, I have had the best case scenario dropped into my life. She is the prettiest, most laid back sweet little baby. I have not had to suppliment with formula for the first time ever, although the latching on is still like a burning iron clamp on my nipple.  BUT that is getting better and the scabs are healing. I am starting to be more picky about my latch and figure out what I need to do to stop the pain.  She likes the sling, which is amazing and she sleeps in it while I type. The wrap around one I looked at on the internet and bought, is working like I had hoped it would. I it amazing to me that what I had imagined might work, to help make life easier, actually did work. So we have not been dealing with bottles or formula  or sterilizing or feeling horrible about giving her milk protein. I have been strict about not having casein in my diet and she doesn't seem to have tummy problems. She does spit up when I lie her flat on her back,  but that is simply solved by the elevated sleep positioner we have on my bed, which I elevate a litte more with a flat pillow and then I have another pillow where her legs go so she doesn't slide down. 

I have learned about swaddling, which I did not do with the other two. When she is fussy and I need an hour to fill up with milk, we swaddle her and DH takes her and she is calm until I am ready to feed her. I am constantly amazed that our strategies and tools are actually working and she seems to be comfortable and happy and full. She does choke a bit on the let down but all my friends say that their babies do/did that. The main difference  between her and Owen's drinking is that she stops drinking when the flow gets fast. She waits and then she breathes, then she drinks some more.  Owen used to gulp and gulp and gulp and I would find myself saying "breathe, breathe!" Then he would choke on it and cough and sputter and try to breathe. When I would take away his bottle or latch him off to give him a breath he would choke too. So even though Emmy is having a little trouble, it seems to be a normal trouble, not like Owen's intense, weird medical swallowing problem. The funny thing about that is that Owen couldn't get a rythum going with his swallowing and breathing. Now the kid has the most incredible rythum you have ever ever seen in a 4 year old. His rock band drumming skills are so amazing I could get him on Oprah I'm sure if I sent them a video.

I let AJ pick out an outfit for Emmy every morning and she loves doing that. She goes into Emmy's room and looks in the basket where I put all the pink 0-3 clothes and brings something back, very excited to watch me put it on her. Owen's job is to come and tap Emmy's back to help burp her. 

So I am so in love with my perfect little girl. I want to protect her with a ferocity that is beyond me. I want to make sure that this new immense joy and huge bubble of love surrounding our whole family, stays and stays. I guess I have no control really, but I want this. This is like nothing I could let myself even imagine. Having her in the house is like having everything lit up with gold sunlight, I'm serious. The flowers outside are more pink, the leaves shine brighter and the blue sky is like a comforting dome over our little house. I'm not saying things are perfect, but when joy has hidden her face for years, it is quite exciting to have her in our life again thanks to Emmy.