First I want to write that the morning after the high fever of the previous evening (see below blog), AJ had a very mild one, it was 99 under her arm, and she was acting, well, incredible. I have blogged a few times before that when she has a fever that it is like she doesn't even have autism and the next morning, December 15th, it happened again. I wish I could bottle that fever. There is something there. It is something huge that is the key to unlocking, at least her autism and finding a way to help her. Her processing time was immediate. We had the best conversation and I knew the whole time I should get up and get my video camera but I couldn't bare to leave her as I knew that as the fever wore off, that so would the incredible immediate processing time. So I used all that time to talk to her and soaked it all in and enjoyed it.

On to other things. Right now my little one in my belly is wiggling around like crazy. I am almost 31 weeks along. My face is starting to get puffy, my hands were swollen this morning for the first time in a long time (I have been very careful about salt so I seem to be spared the major swelling so far.) It is starting to be hard to walk around since I am short which makes my belly stick way out. But I still am pain-free. I am trying not to eat like a piggy which I did not bother with my first two pregnancies. Although tonight I did eat a quarter of an apple pie, but I swear that isn't usual!!!

So Claire's wedding was last weekend. What a drama week. I won't bore you with the details but I will tell you that yesterday she lost her wedding band and today her engagement ring broke, and when my mom took it to the jewelry store to get it fixed, the little broken off flower got lost somehow. The worst part about that is that there were 3 flowers, 3 sisters, and now there are only 2 flowers. The irony, symbolism and whatever else is so cruel and exhausting and miserable. The rings are supposed to represent so much so it is kind of shocking to loose them and to loose broken, significant parts of them. Then she had to fly out this afternoon. Claire was sick for the last half of her visit and she is very much the baby when she is sick. Now she and her hubby are on on the plane on the way back to war torn Israel and once again, I am just trying not to freak out or stress as I read the news about the attacks on Gaza Strip and I can't believe she is going back there to live. My parent's cried at the airport. I didn't. I can't wait for her to come back, to move to Brooklyn again and get her life together and gain some weight and stand up straight. My whole family is still so terribly torn by my older sister's passing that I find it alarming to see the mess it has created, still. And I know it messes with me all the time, some times more than others. It gets tiresome trying to constantly cope, rather than just live. But I am also having a blast in a way...just living. In fact, as of midnight (It is just after midnight) it is my wedding anniversary. It has been 7 years!! The best part about it is that I am so happy with my husband. I love him more than ever, he has been amazing through all of this wedding stuff. It is so hard to feel so lucky though because you have so much to loose when you love someone this much. I don't think I could take much more tragedy honestly. I would probably end up in a mental institution. I think about that sometimes, what I would do if something so horrible happened that I couldn't deal with it... and I thought that maybe I would join the peace corps or something.

Anyway, this blog is getting off track and starting to sound a bit weird. This has just been an emotional week. I do want to add though that on Claire's wedding day, I had an amazing time with AJ getting her ready and dressed up as a flower girl. She let me wash her hair and blow dry it and curl it and put it in little clips with baby's breath flowers. She had one of those long white dresses on and looked like an angel. She was so excited about it.

I will write tomorrow about the toy brains exploding on her dress quite soon before it was time for her to walk out there.

OK, bye for now.
me.