Kinda weird

Last week when I was having a morning sleep-in, I had a vivid dream that a government company was laying huge pipes in our streets and came in our yard and even had to come in our house to do it. When I woke up I heard big trucks drive up outside the front of my house. I looked out of my bedroom window and was stunned to see 2 enormous trucks with a huge pipe on the back of one. I realized later when I went outside that it was not a pipe, but a telephone pole...and the work they did was 2 houses down, putting up a new telephone pole. So it wasn't exactly like my dream. But then today we got a notice from the electric/water company, a leaflet left on the gate to the front picket fence, that they would be working on our street tomorrow and possibly have to come in our yard. I just think that is very odd. They said the electric would be out all afternoon.

We went and got pizza for dinner tonight...we let AJ cheat and I cheated too...hopefully Emmy won't have green poop. The result for AJ was a huge melt down at bed time. I suppose that could have happened anyway, but I found out today that the pizza crust is made of millet and flax, which seems to make her crazy...never mind all that cheese too. I think that we are done cheating. I always say that and always end up cheating. Her behavior was horrible tonight:

1. She dumped her sippy cup of water on rug because she was angry it wasn't rice milk (we said only water since she had already brushed her teeth).

2. When I put her in time out she was trying to hit me and succeeded a few times.

3. I sat on the floor with her in time-out to restrain her and then when she said she would stop hitting we just sat there. I was so angry but when I am being challenged like that I pretend I am on TV, on super nanny and I have to act perfect for the cameras. This helps me do the right thing when I want to give her a good hard smack on the butt, but know I shouldn't. Super Nanny wouldn't like that, and neither would I after the fact.

4. I got her some paper towels and she wiped up the water quite happily, almost proud of the mess she had made. It was both frustrating and a relief that she enjoyed it.

5. Back in bed she wanted me to lie down with her and I said I didn't want to lie down with her because she hit me and I don't want to lie down with someone who hits me.

6. She said, "Oh I'm sorry". She learned about "sorry" in social skills a couple of weeks ago.

7. I told her that words don't fix it. Only actions...and being good and lying down for 15 minutes quietly with her head on her pillow will show me she is truly sorry and that will fix it.

8. She did this and I ended up going in 15 minutes later and lying down with her and talking to her for a little while. I asked her what we could do to make her go to bed at night without hitting or having bad behavior. She said, "I don't know."
I don't know either.

I feel like such a failure when this stuff happens. I know it will help to have a clean house so I will try to work on that. Right now is it after midnight and I am waiting for a DVD to burn. It will take hours. I have most of them burned and printed up and I will send them out to the bride on Friday. I had to turn down work today from a company who wanted me to make them an instructional video. I told them I couldn't help until August and they didn't want to wait that long of course. I am just so behind on my weddings, I couldn't make the brides wait even longer while I took up a new project. But I hate turning down work too. Its not like we have money or anything.

Tomorrow is a new day.

OK, I'm off to clean.
me.