Not Cancer

I do not have breast cancer. That is one less strike against me in the possibilities of death before my children are raised.

OK, enough with the dramatics and I have to say that the best part of the mamagram this morning was that the mamographer controls the squoosher with a pedal, it doesn't just come down on its own and gauge the pressure automatically like an automatic bloodpressure cup does. I was so scared that the machine was just going to come down on its own and clamp my breast until it was so horribly squeezed. The mamographer was in control of the squoosher with a pedal and yes, my boob was flattened like a pancake, but I had a human in control of it so I could ask her to change it if it ended up being excurtiating...which is wasn't. In fact after nursing Emmy and then pumping and pumping and pumping, it really wasn't half as bad as I thought it was going to be.

The Doctor came into the room finally (no men were allowed past the waiting room...weird) so it was just me. The Dr. put my boob pics up and showed me that they looked fine. I just saw a bunch of white swirly lines in what looked like an outline of my breasts and didn't really know what she was talking about, but glad she said they looked fine. She then did an ultrasound on the lump in question and said that since it was white and not black it showed that it was just breast tissue and not "trouble."
Then she said, "What do you think it is?"

That surprised me. She seemed to really want to know. I said that I guessed it was breast tissue like she said, because it wasn't a plugged duct because it didn't change when I nursed or took a hot shower and it wasn't tender or anything. She said that she didn't know why they were called plugged ducts, because there wasn't milk stuck in there or anything. That confused me, because....yeah, there is milk stuck in there when there is a plugged duct and I started to wonder if she knew what she was talking about. She must have sensed my fear because then she said that I looked totally fine to her and she spotted trouble very well and she had seen over 65,000 patients so she wasn't a newby.

I said OK and she said that I can go to a surgeon too if I want. I sat there, a bit confused. Why did I need to go to a surgeon if I was fine? Then she said, "Why don't we have you come back in 6 weeks and have another look and see if it has changed."
I said, "Do you think it will go away?"
She said, "Well, yes!."

So........we shall see.

In the mean time I feel pretty good that I don't have "trouble" in there. I can go on establishing the routine with Emmy in the house and trying to get things kind of back to normal. No more elephant in the room.

OK, time to change Emmy's diaper.
me.