My Book

Emmy is sleeping...all wrapped up like a papoose here on the bed. I didn't swaddle the first two...oh how I missed out on a wonderful calming tool. She has been going to bed at 10:00pm and waking up at 3:00am to eat, then again at around 6am. This is a good schedule. I hope she keeps it up. Her fussy period is for a couple of hours at night before bedtime and is contained by DH and I taking turns with her and me nursing her quite often. With both of us working to keep her comfortable, the crying is minimal and that is kind of amazing. She cries in the car. Owen calls it the "waaa song." It is uncomfortable but I am not too bothered by her crying in the car since there is nothing I can do about it. If I have learned anything in the past couple of years it is to tune out things I have no control over. It makes life easier.

I have been writing a book. I haven't added to it since before we moved to this house. I put some of the problems I was going through, in the book, as the character's problems. When I read it last night for the first time in months, I was kind of shocked at how bad my anxiety was and how DH and I were going through a bad patch. We do much better together now on a team, parenting a little one. We are so proud of the little beautiful person we created together that how can we be angry with each other?

Before I got pregnant I was starting to get antsy and wanted to connect with him somehow, either by writing music together again or him helping me with the business again. But he was instead spending more time with his other band and pulling away from helping me with the business. So I was feeling kind of alienated. But we were also living with my parents at that time and that is pretty bad for our relationship. That was when they had just moved here and were living with us for a few months.

I guess I kind of worry that when Emmy gets older that DH and I will drift apart again. But I also suppose that every couple has bad patches and I know that we will fight for our relationship. I was also grieving very badly at that point, an DH seemed to be acting like I was supposed to be getting better, not tanking. When I found out I was pregnant, DH was suddenly way nicer to me. I suppose we suddenly had that connection that was missing and that I was craving. Then when we moved to this house it was like a weight lifted and we were both happy again.

So the book is over 40 pages long. It is pretty good actually. It needs a lot of work too but it was interesting which is a good thing I think :) I just need to figure out how to spin it into a plot a bit more and make something happen and then be resolved. I'll have to think about that.


We had a good night tonight. The kids went to bed OK and last night they went to bed well also. I have been bribing them...saying that if they go to bed well they can have chocolate the next day. Today they got chocolate and so at bed time they wanted to be good again. I was also in a good mood which I know sets the whole positive tone of the routine and makes things much easier.

I ordered some more b12 today so I will give AJ a shot tomorrow.


We are filming a wedding tomorrow. I have to be away from Emmy for hours while my mom watches her and the other two. The wedding is near my house so I will be able to nip home to feed her while DH films. But I also have some bottles saved up and I will bring the pump with me to the wedding. Goodness knows where I will go to pump in a church. I just hate being away from Emmy for any amount of time. She is 6 weeks old today. I don't know how people can bare going back to work at 6 weeks and putting their babies in day care. I know many people just don't have the choice and I feel beyond lucky that I do.

me.