The "Screaming Phase" again

I have a little time before I have to pick up Owen and I have watered my Facebook virtual fairy garden already ;) so here goes...
AJ has started screaming again, I wonder if this is marking the end of her wonderful 2 weeks. She has decided to stop listening and start screaming when we ask her to do things. It is so tiresome. Yesterday DH gave her gummie worms. I don't think/know if they have anything in them that she shouldn't eat besides preservatives and just crap, but I was annoyed since I have been so strict and she has been doing so well. Last night she had a major tantrum at bedtime. It was after she had been put to bed but was up late playing with her teddy bears and turning on her light whenever she felt like it after we both told her not to. Then she said she was hungry and I said no, because she had eaten a good dinner. And because she was in bed and I didn't want her getting up.
DH said, oh we could give her some toast so I said fine.
Ten minutes later she was at the table eating her GFCFSF toast with veggie shortening on it. Then surprise, surprise, she wouldn't go back to bed. So DH took her back kicking and screaming then he came out and shut her door (she was still screaming) and sat on the couch. H said, "She kicked me in the adam's apple and I smacked her butt. Go see her."
DH never smacks her, ever. As a general rule we don't spank and I knew he was feeling horrible about it although I couldn't help but be a bit glad that she now knew that there is a direct result of kicking someone in the throat.

So I opened her door and said I would come back when she stopped screaming.
"But mom, I have a sore leg." She struggled to say it and to figure out just what to say and I stayed until she finished her sentence. I suddenly wondered if she was having growing pains and if that was making her act like this. I sat on her bed and rubbed her leg and said that, "sometimes when grow it makes our legs feel sore." She was quiet now and then she said, "Daddy smacked my butt, hard."
I said, "Well you kicked him in the throat. That is what happens if you kick someone in the throat you get smacked. He didn't want to. Now go out there and apologize to him right now for doing that."
"Will you hold my hand?" I was stunned at her request, she even held out her hand to me. But I was angry too.
"No, you do this one on your own."
She went out in the hallway and I heard her walk down and say, "I'm sorry for kicking you Daddy, I am just so so sad."
DH said, "Come here" and he gave her a big hug and said he was sorry for smacking her butt. I wasn't sure if he should have apologized for it since I try and act like our decision-making, follow through and any discipline action should be treated like it is on purpose and for a purpose and to help them, even if they don't like it. Apologizing is like saying that you were wrong for your action/reaction. But it felt right to him and he had reacted out of anger so it made sense that he apologized.

She came back to bed and sat down next to me and said, "Daddy said um, nothing"
"Did he say he was sorry too?"
"Um, yes."
"He loves you very much."
"Um, yes."

She said, "I'm not going to be naughty anymore."
"OK" She says that every time after a big tantrum but it doesn't stop the tantrums.

We talked for a little while longer. I enjoyed her focus and willingness to try and find words and sentences and have a back and forth conversation. Then she asked me to lie down with her. I said no because my belly is so huge now that it is hard to get back up but she said please and I wanted a hug, so I lay down with her and pulled her close for a hug and she let out a big sigh. It was such a nice "normal" hug I couldn't believe it. Then she said. "OK all done hug" and rolled over to go to sleep.

When she goes through her "screaming phase" this means we are also dealing with her running away now when we tell her to come and get in the car when we are leaving the park. For DH it was picking her up from school yesterday which he said was very embarrassing. He said that he let her play for a while then when it was time to go she went and sat in a bush, and that is why he promised her gummie bears. I told him, "You just count."
He said he didn't want to seem too stern in front of everyone. I have no problem with it if she is doing something like sitting in a bush and ignoring me. I am more embarrassed about looking like I have no control over my wild child. But I'm not a screamer either so it is very hard to reel her in sometimes. Counting seems to do the trick for now.

Both kids have been tricky this past week. We are also dealing with colds and stuff so I'm sure that doesn't help. When Owen is a little bear it tends to take a toll on all of us too.

So I gave AJ her shot this morning before school, I was 2 days overdue with the shot and I hope this helps her. I have been slacking on the probiotics so I will get that going again too.

I need to set up a positive reward system or something before I pick her up today.
Wish me luck :)
me.