We had a good day after I picked up AJ from school. We went right home since it was raining and she and Owen played together better than they have ever played before. I let Owen force AJ to play with him by telling her to come to the museum with him and dragging her into the dining room (the pretend museum). At first she was upset but when he suggested going to the beach she was interested and followed him into my room and suddenly the yellow comforter was the sand and they had a blast. They had conversations and pretend play together. It was a speech therapists dream come true (and mine too really.)

I edited my wedding and enjoyed listening to them play with each other, plesently for over an hour. Then since DH had band practice I made dinner, rice spaghetti and meat balls. I actually made the meatballs with a recipe and baked them. The kids loved dinner and ate it. I couldn't beleive that Owen ate it too. They even took a bath with no fussing. It was amazing. I so needed an afternoon like today. We read books and then they went to bed. Keeping them in bed wasn't butter smooth but it was better than last night.

I think the b12 shot this morning helped, and I am optomisitc now that AJ has not "fallen off the wagon" and we will have some more time where she is in our world so amazingly, and I hope she doesn't slip off again anytime soon.


I have been looking at facebook alot recently and one of my sister's friends, Mike, sent me a friend request. She and her husband spent a lot of time with Mike before she passed and I had thought about him a few times. So I was happy when I got the request and right away looked at his profile. He had a picture up of my sister that I recognized that he must have copied and pasted from her old online work photo. But then I was shocked to read a comment under her picture from one of his freinds saying, "Oh my God I heard she died in a car accident and right before the reunion. Is that true? If so that is SOOOO sad!!"

I felt really sick reading that and just typed below, "I can think of much nicer comments to write about her, like how beautiful she looks in this picture."

I just wanted to passively point out how gossipy, and inappropriate her comment was. She wrote back right away saying she didn't meant to offend and deleted her first comment thank goodnesss, then I deleted mine. I felt weird like I was being over sensitive but I know that my sister would have hated that so I felt inclinded to say something. Then I thought I was doing fine afterwards and just watched a bit of TV, but had an anxiety attack when I went to bed. It was weird. I haven't had that in months and months.

So when DH came home he helped me to feel better and here I am, typing it all out to try and get some clarity. I don't know if I have any calrity now. I am trying hard to be removed from the pain of her accident a bit while dealing with these last few weeks of my pregnancy. I can't mix greif in with this succsessfully so I have just been focussed on the baby and of abstract and plesent thoughts and memories of my sister. It is when I see words like the "comment" under her picture, that I get slammed into dispare.
Anyway, enough about me, this blog is supposed to be about AJ right? :)
Goodnight,
me.
me.