Last night when I was sleeping I thought I heard my older sister call my name out loudly and clearly. I woke up and the baby was wiggling. I was comfy but decided to take it as a sign and moved onto my left side to make sure I wasn't on the cord or something like that. Her husband tried calling me last week, the day before Valentines day. I didn't call him back until the next evening when I thought he might be working, because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the conversation. I finally talked to him this morning and he told me he was having a hard time last week. I told him about my dream, or whatever it was last night. But I was a bit removed talking about everything and I hope that wasn't hard on him. I just need to get through these next few weeks of having the baby and keeping it healthy or whatever is going to happen. I can help my sister's husband grieve after I make it through these enormous changes.

My younger sister in Tel Aviv called me yesterday and told me that a huge store in Israel, kind of like Israel's equivalent to H&M is offering to pay her band $20,000 to use on of their songs in an ad campaign. My first thought was that they could use that money to move back and put a down payment on an apartment in NY. But she said  that her husband isn't getting funding for his movie that he wants to make before they leave Israel and so they are going to use the money for that. It all sounds exciting and whatever, but I can't help but think that her wonderful creative imagination and song writing talents that are going to fund her husband's movie, is kind of bunk. It just seems typical of stuff in my family. We just piss away money. So I say that and his movie might be a success and I will eat my words and feel really guilty for writing this. But I just feel like us three girls sometimes are/were under-appreciated by the men in our life. I can write good songs too, but my husband is more interested in making songs with his guy band. He said that he can't believe that my younger sister's band got that song deal and his band is struggling to get a new record deal after being dropped by Sub Pop. I told him that if he wanted $20,000 for a song he should be playing in my band. He kind of laughed. Oh, and I got nothing for valentines day. Nothing.

This morning when I took AJ to school a mom that was dropping off her son told me thank you for the letter. My eloquent response was, "Oh, I'd forgotten about that." Then I kicked myself for not saying something normal like, "you are welcome, I appreciate your acknowledging it."

Oh well.

I'm exhausted. 2.5 weeks left?

me.