She said, "I like you."
"Do you love me?"
"Yes."
I said, "I like you too."
"I like Darby" (a little girl in her class.)
"Yes, I like her too. She's a nice girl."
Now I just need to find out if Darby will come to her party. :)
So based on a blog comment, (thank you to those who comment, it does make a difference!) I decided it was time to put together a letter to the parents of the children in AJ's class. I typed it up this afternoon before I went to pick her up, then took it with me and showed it to her teacher when we were all sitting outside at pick up. I told her teacher that it was a rough draft and I wanted to make sure that the tone was OK (not negative at all) and if she thought it was even necessary. She read it and told me that she thought it was perfect and that we should have done this at the beginning of the year. She said that I need to send this home to the parents now and be sure to do it again in 1st grade.
Here is the letter (I am printing out 24 copies now and will send it home with the kids tomorrow):
Dear Parents,
I am writing a note to talk a little bit about autism. I am not sure how many parents know that my daughter, AJ, has high functioning autism. It is hard to tell at first because she does not have many of the “classic symptoms.” I don’t know if your child has mentioned AJ at all, or her differences, but I would like to give you a brief explanation about how the autism affects her and perhaps your child in the class.
AJ is a remarkably intelligent little girl with many gifts. She is able to think in a creative way that is surprising and enjoyable to her progressive teachers. Although there are many things that she can do very well and beyond her years, socializing is not one of them. It is difficult for AJ to make eye contact for more than a few seconds at a time. Sometimes she will walk away while her classmates are talking to her and even speak to them while walking away from them. I think this is confusing for her peers and may often be perceived as her being rude or that she doesn’t like them. It also may imply a lack of intelligence, which simply is not the case.
At one point we had a friend from the Center for Autism and Related Disabilities come and talk to the class about AJ and during this talk she mentioned that when AJ ignores her classmates she is not being intentionally rude. I think, however, this is a difficult concept for children to really understand and the guidance of a parent will help. AJ does very much enjoy interacting with her classmates but a real connection takes a patience on the part of her peers which just isn’t practical to expect in a kindergartener. Surprisingly though, I have found that many of her peers are very sophisticated in their ability to interpret her actions and are very sweet to her. This is huge for AJ and keeps her happy while she learns. (A small gesture such as making a space in the morning circle for her to sit down goes further than you can imagine!)
One of the most interesting things about AJ’s autism is that she does completely understand facial expressions and actions towards her, although she does not have the ability to consistently and effectively express back what she is also thinking and feeling…thus ending a conversation. She does know who are best friends in the class and she often plays at home with toys that represent the kids that she spends the most time with. I am sure she is much more interested in her classmates than they would ever guess or imagine.
On a final note, we are able to help her enormously by taking wheat-gluten, soy and casein (a protein found in cows milk) out of her diet. We do low sugar and salt, and keep preservatives out of her diet. The difference that diet makes in her ability to interact and focus well is incredible. Autism is not “who she is.” It is a barrier that we are able to shed at times and we get remarkable, occasional glimpses of “typical behavior.”
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I wanted to offer up some information as I am sure some parents have heard different bits and pieces so I wanted to be more clear. I will be happy to answer any questions and so will Ms. Darry. AJ is having such a great year with her class and we are proud of her huge accomplishments and the insight and encouragement that her teachers bring to the table on a daily basis.
(our names) parents to AJ, Owen, and soon #3
p.s. Ms. Darry wanted me to add that she has an article available in the classroom for any parents who are interested in reading more general information about autism in young children.
Dear Parents,
I am writing a note to talk a little bit about autism. I am not sure how many parents know that my daughter, AJ, has high functioning autism. It is hard to tell at first because she does not have many of the “classic symptoms.” I don’t know if your child has mentioned AJ at all, or her differences, but I would like to give you a brief explanation about how the autism affects her and perhaps your child in the class.
AJ is a remarkably intelligent little girl with many gifts. She is able to think in a creative way that is surprising and enjoyable to her progressive teachers. Although there are many things that she can do very well and beyond her years, socializing is not one of them. It is difficult for AJ to make eye contact for more than a few seconds at a time. Sometimes she will walk away while her classmates are talking to her and even speak to them while walking away from them. I think this is confusing for her peers and may often be perceived as her being rude or that she doesn’t like them. It also may imply a lack of intelligence, which simply is not the case.
At one point we had a friend from the Center for Autism and Related Disabilities come and talk to the class about AJ and during this talk she mentioned that when AJ ignores her classmates she is not being intentionally rude. I think, however, this is a difficult concept for children to really understand and the guidance of a parent will help. AJ does very much enjoy interacting with her classmates but a real connection takes a patience on the part of her peers which just isn’t practical to expect in a kindergartener. Surprisingly though, I have found that many of her peers are very sophisticated in their ability to interpret her actions and are very sweet to her. This is huge for AJ and keeps her happy while she learns. (A small gesture such as making a space in the morning circle for her to sit down goes further than you can imagine!)
One of the most interesting things about AJ’s autism is that she does completely understand facial expressions and actions towards her, although she does not have the ability to consistently and effectively express back what she is also thinking and feeling…thus ending a conversation. She does know who are best friends in the class and she often plays at home with toys that represent the kids that she spends the most time with. I am sure she is much more interested in her classmates than they would ever guess or imagine.
On a final note, we are able to help her enormously by taking wheat-gluten, soy and casein (a protein found in cows milk) out of her diet. We do low sugar and salt, and keep preservatives out of her diet. The difference that diet makes in her ability to interact and focus well is incredible. Autism is not “who she is.” It is a barrier that we are able to shed at times and we get remarkable, occasional glimpses of “typical behavior.”
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I wanted to offer up some information as I am sure some parents have heard different bits and pieces so I wanted to be more clear. I will be happy to answer any questions and so will Ms. Darry. AJ is having such a great year with her class and we are proud of her huge accomplishments and the insight and encouragement that her teachers bring to the table on a daily basis.
(our names) parents to AJ, Owen, and soon #3
p.s. Ms. Darry wanted me to add that she has an article available in the classroom for any parents who are interested in reading more general information about autism in young children.
1 comment:
What a great idea and a great letter. I am so happy AJ's teacher is supportive of this effort. And her comment "we should have done this at the beginning..." indicates she has learned something that she will carry with her into the future and that she is sensitive to AJ and her needs.
I also wonder if it wouldn't help at the beginning of the school year to have a meeting with the parents of AJ's class.
You might consider including (in a letter or a meeting) not only about AJ's autism but a section on "how you can help" or "what you can do" and market it as an opportunity for their kids to learn diversity skills at a young age. Sometimes having specific actions spelled out and presenting it to the parents like there is a reward in it for them (i.e., raising children who are sensitive to diversity) can make a difference for people in terms of getting involved.
I commend you for this!
Post a Comment